House Guest
by Chris Coven Goodmakers
Summary: Blindside is taken prisoner by Harley and Ivy and is forced to be Harley's new playmate. did i mention Harley is psychotic


House Guest

It was a lovely summer night in Gotham, very warm, but not to humid. Every one was out, including the blue ghost. Blindside crouched on top of a small apartment building over looking a residential street. People sat outside on the steps of the building, or drove around in there cars. To nice a night to spend cooped up in doors. However as happy Blindside was to see everybody enjoying the night rather then cowering inside, however it made his job all that more difficult. To many easy targets for criminals to pick off. Anyone could just run and…

The sudden sound of a burglar alarm going off around the corner caught Blindside's attention. He stood up from his crouching stance and ran towards the edge of the building. He leaped from rooftop to rooftop until he crossed the block and came to the alarm. The large sign over the broken store window read "Mike's Fine Jewelry" Jewelry stores were always easy targets.

Blindside watched the store for a few moments. There was a red convertible parked out front, no doubt the getaway car. It never fails; climbing out of the wide store window was a most unexpected sight. A petit woman with long carroty red hair and a short dark green leather dress. Well, no matter how hot the criminal it was a crime nonetheless. Blindside jumped off the side of the building. Falling towards the street he used a flagpole to break his fall.

After stopping his momentum he landed gracefully on the sidewalk. A moment after landing he ran and jumped landing on the hood of the red convertible, Poison Ivy was stunned. She jumped back in the driver's seat of the car.

"Good evening" he exclaimed bashfully, looking at the leafed Lolita through the windshield of the car. He was so focused on her that the massive blow to his side came as a total surprise. He was blown of the hood landing on the road beside the car. Over him loomed the shadow of a pale-faced harlequin, or rather Harley Quinn.

"OUCH THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!!" she yelled in a voice that could wake the dead. Blindside groaned, the strike of the oversized wooden mallet had knocked everything out of him. His clawed hand dropped down beside his head and he passed out cold. With the curiosity of a brash kitten Harley looked over her conquered foe. She scratched the side of her head and looked over him in confusion. "What is it?" she coyly asked Ivy, her voice as bouncy as ever. Ivy wasn't in such a playful mood.

"Come on Harley we have to get going!!!" she screamed, anticipating a rush of cop cars any second and no doubt they were in an awkward situation with 6 pounds of stolen jewelry sitting in the back of the car. Harley deliberated over Blindside for a brief moment the she perked her face excited about the idea she just had.

"Oh Ivy, I wanna keep him!" she excitedly exclaimed. Ivy wasn't pleased, but she was in no position to argue. The police sirens were approaching and she had to get out of there. So she just gave in.

"Fine, but I'm telling you right now that I'm not gonna be the one looking after it" Harley was ecstatic.

"Oh Boy!" she screamed. She quickly lugged Blindside's lifeless body over to the car. She opened up the back suicide door and threw him in amongst the stolen jewelry. She then leaped over the back into the passenger's seat. Ivy quickly hit the gas, smoking the tires and out running the cops.

Harley and Ivy took the car back to a large hanger in the middle of a deserted airbase. Harley jumped out of the car and opened up the huge bay doors, ivy drove in and Harley closed the doors behind her. The hanger was full of storage, crates and things. However in the middle of the hanger was a most peculiar thing, a modest 2-story country home. Thanks to Ivy it even had it's lawn and garden.

In truth the army built it years ago to study how different things would affect an average American home, but do to budget cuts it was long abandoned. You Tax dollars at work.

Ivy parked the car up the small driveway section of the home; she and Harley then began to unload. Ivy started lugging in the pounds of gold chains and diamond rings, however Harley went straight for the thing she prized the most, the unconscious Blindside. This annoyed Ivy; she was stuck collecting all the jewelry while Harley took the only thing she cared about. Harley flung open the front door and screamed.

"Babies, Momma's home!!!" around the corner came running two African Hyenas. The cackling dogs pounced on the diminutive clown knocking her to the ground, she laughed as they licked her face. "Yes you missed Momma, well look what Momma brought home" she climbed to her feet and pulled Blindside in the door. The hyenas looked at each other puzzled. Harley dragged her new toy into the house further and flopped him onto the floor of her playroom. The room was filed with toys and dolls, all obviously stolen.

Blindside began to awaken from his dazed state, he looked around the small room with bright pink walls and purple carpet and wall to wall stuffed animals. There was no doubt in his mind, he had died and this was Hell.

"Oh Boy!" he heard the playful female voice. He looked behind him and Saw Harley standing there wrapping her arms tightly around a stuffed teddy bear. "Kitty's awake, its time for fun now!" Oh god, blindside shouted in his mind. A face full of laughing gas would be more humane then this. Harley tossed the teddy bear aside and ran over to a closet in the room. She began tossing garments about the floor. She eeked and jumped back in joy, the removed a long yellow sundress from the wardrobe.

"Here Kitty!" she handed it to Blindside, who grabbed it with his steely claw softly as not to tare the fabric. "You'd look absolutely precious in this!" Blindside recoiled in fear.

"No!" he said as stern as possible. "There is no way in a cold hell that I will ever put this on!" Harley became visible angered. She stomped her feet and bit her lower lip.

"Put it on!" she yelled, her voice unexpectedly fierce, Blindside shook his head. That's when Harley got really angry. She screamed at the top of her lungs. "NOW!!!" Blindside threw the dress to the ground and began to walk away, he was greeted at the door by Ivy, who was not pleased.

She held up a potted plant, that did something most peculiar, it snapped at him with a mouth full of jagged razor teeth. Blindside fell back depressing the glowing orb in his palm. He let go and an intense flash of light blinded Ivy. She covered her eyes and moved back. Blindside thought he was victorious until he heard the voice behind him.

"Kitty play nice!" Blindside turned around and was once again greeted with the business end of a mallet. After a brief blackout he regained consciousness, he was back on the floor of the playroom. He went to rub his sore head when he noticed something. On his hands were a pair of thick grey oven mitts; they were secured at the wrist with tightly bound duct tape. He tried to remove them, but as crude as the restraints were there were also very effective. He could no longer use his Flash Orb, and his sharp talons were now powerless. Yes this kitten had been de-clawed.

Harley entered the room carrying the same yellow dress that had started all this trouble.

"Now will Kitty put it on?" she aid softly, Blindside sighed and grabbed the dress from her hands.

The dress was a little more comfortable then expected, however the pumps and feather boa were another story all together. This was one moment in Blindside's life that was best left repressed, stumbling through and abandoned test house dressed in drag looking for Harley Quinn in a game of Hide-And-Seek. Ivy had left for a few hours, probably to knock over some place. He entered the upstairs bedroom looking for Harley, who he knew was having far too much fun with the situation.

What he was unable to know was she was hiding in the closet in that very bedroom, he would have figured it out however he was suddenly distracted by the screeching of tires and the crash of a door.

"Harley!" Ivy screamed as she threw open the door to the house. "We got problems!" that was an understatement. Ivy had just knocked over another jewelry store; unfortunately this one had a silent alarm that alerted the police before she could make a clean getaway. On her tail was 2 dozen of Gotham's finest. The police cars surged threw the bay doors of the warehouse and were up to the house in no time; Ivy was looking down the barrels of the various pistols of a few boys in blue. She raised her hand and surrendered.

The cops entered the house; Blindside kicked off the heels and ran down the hall to the railing overlooking the stairs. Cops were entering the house. Blindside new he couldn't get caught there, however by the looks of it a few off those cops had itchy trigger fingers and Harley could be in real danger. He thought about it for a second, how he was about to risk his life for a woman who, not only hit him in the face twice with a mallet, but also forced him to dress in a sexy yellow number. He had to, he couldn't in good conscious stand aside and let her get hurt. Went to look for her in the bathroom. He entered it and closed the door behind him. As he was obscured from view a solitary cop entered the hallway and headed for the Bedroom. He walked in slowly, pistol drawn. Looking around he spotted the closet; he approached it slowly, tightening the grip on his trigger.

Harley could hear the foot steps but she thought it was all a game of Hide-And-Seek. She waited in anticipation for who she thought was kitty to open the door and say, "Found yeah". The cop got a grip on the knob and began to turn it. He heard the click of the latch and he whipped the door open.

"Surprise!" Harley screamed, the cop was startled and went to put a Bullet between her eyes when a heavy grunting scream filled the room and Blindside threw all his force into the cop in a massive body check. The cop squeezed off a shot, and fell against a wall, knocking himself unconscious. Blindside was pleased with his heroism until he looked over at Harley and saw her clutching her bleeding shoulder.

"Kitty, help" she whimpered and collapsed to the ground. Blindside quickly bent down and held his mitt'ed hand over her bleeding wound. He could help her with the gloves covering his hands.

"Harley, listen… you have to take these mitts off of me!" he pleaded. Harley shook her head.

"Kitty will scratch" She exclaimed.

"No, I promise, just trust me!" he begged. Harley decided to give him a second chance and loosened the tape on one of the gloves. Blindside quickly used his free hand to tare off the other glove. He then examined her wound. It was straight in and out, but he needed to get her to a hospital fast.

He lifted the petite girl up in his mighty arms and carried her out. The house was swarming with cops so he opened a window in the bed room and climbed onto the roof, he then pulled Harley up. From there he held her in his arms again and jumped from the Roof to a large storage crate. Then from there to a high set of boxes, and out through a skylight.

Blindside rushed her to Gotham Memorial were she was taken into surgery immediately. She would be fine, but since the Doctors have to report gunshot wounds, the Cops were alerted and Harley was placed under arrest while still lying in her hospital bed. She was given appropriate time to recover. While she was still in recovery Blindside decided to pay a visit.

He snuck in through the window of her 8th story hospital room. She lay in the bed, now totally removed of her thick white makeup and red and black clown girl outfit. Underneath she was just a pretty young blonde. Just like any other normal girl. She slowly opened her eyes and gazed up at the sympathetic face of Blindside.

"Kitty" she groaned softly.

"Yeah it's me" Blindside exclaimed. "and I've got good news, the doctors say you'll be fine, and since you weren't involved in the robbery that Ivy committed you are looking at only a month or two at Arkham" Harley smiled.

"That's good, promise you'll be good Kitty while mommy goes away" she muttered, half asleep. Blindside nodded, and placed his hand in Harley's. Harley was beginning to drift back into sleep when she muttered her final sentence before slipping into a peaceful rest "You are the best kitty I ever had"

Blindside smiled inside his mask and headed for the window, he climbed into the frame and looked out at the sun rising over the city. He took one last look back at Harley before leaping out. That night was over, but another was just a day away.

THE END


End file.
